(see definition of shooketh here)
This is a continuation of part 1.
I met someone at a bar that left me shooketh.
Nothing bad happened. If anything, it was a good experience. This person had incredibly soft lips and a personality type I haven’t experienced in a while.
A little background: I’m not much of a hugger. I’ll hug people when they’re leaning in for a hug, but I’m almost never the first to initiate a hug. I like my personal space. If I had to guess, I hug 5 times a month. The last time I was physical with or kissed someone (until this week) was in December.
What left me shooketh was the exchange of energy. I forgot what it’s like to absorb someones energy. We had a great time hanging out at the bar, hitting different clubs, and hanging out on the roof of where I was staying. I didn’t realize until the next day when I was sober and
well-rested less sleep-deprived how much hurt this person feels. I felt it in my gut. I felt this Piscean swimming around in my head – their opinions and mannerisms hitting me square in the face. “Who hurt you?” I want to ask. “I’m here, if you want to talk,” I want to say. I don’t say anything of course, I internalize all of this. It has been a long time since I’ve felt anyone’s energy so strongly. We exchanged a few texts within an hour after parting, and now we just watch each others snapchat stories. I’m left feeling some type of way.
I’m feeling some type of way. “Some type of way” is slang like shooketh. It’s used when what you’re feeling is complex and you don’t know how to describe what “way” you’re feeling. So you’re feeling some type of “way”. I’m feeling some type of way.
This person made me feel shooketh – their wild personality and ability to say what they wanted and do as they pleased, I feel repressed. Anxious. Socially awkward. It’s uncomfortable. I’m not super great at small talk. This is what gave me a push to sign up for acting classes today. I want to be able to live as I please. If I had the confidence, I would’ve picked up the cigarette wrapper they littered. I fought it so hard because I felt uncool doing so. I’m just here psycho-analyzing myself after spending just 6-7 hours with a stranger. This change was a long time coming, but this week was the cherry on top. Cherry. Haha.
This feeling I’ve held in my stomach the past 2 days, I tried to mentally release it at Yoga today. I just ended up crying. Lol.
Overall, I’m thankful for this experience. I’m thankful that all these feelings have lit a fire under my ass and have pushed me to take action, not only changing my habits, but deeply rooted personality issues. I’m setting intentions to manifest who I want to be, and what I want my life to be like.